Archbishop Jason Polland - "Inexorable Paths"
(BNW 034 - 2013)

Engineer Your Fate / Monstrously Refined Tastes / Ice Cycle / Expedition Of Blood & Snow / When The Men Fight, Their Wounds Never Mend /
Contemplative Primitive / Charles B. Goes To Hell / Gentleman Sloth / National Depravity Authorization Act / My Inexorable Path

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Inexorable Paths (ZIP FILE)


Click-clack, click-clack, the train runs down the track
Look out the windows, all I see is black
I run from car to car
I am the only passenger
I feel no joy, I feel no pain
Only the jostling of the train
No more desire, no more regret
All memories I slowly forget

Click-clack, click-clack, the train runs down the track
Look out the windows, all I see is black
Plunging forever through the dark
I can never disembark
I have no past, I have no name
Is this punishment, or am I insane?
There is no way to measure time
We never reach the end of the line

Click-clack, click-clack, the train runs down the track
Look out the windows, all I see is black
I see no sun, I see no stars
Just an endless procession of cars
Am I alive, or am I dead?
Nothing behind, nothing ahead
All alone, hurtling through space
The glass reflects my ghostly face

So I sit alone in my tomb of despair
Crumbling decrepitude, haunting ineptitude
Still, they taunt me from afar
A lifetime of repression
Remnants of a once-brilliant mind, now consumed with obsession

"Come play with me" --- No...
"Do you like me?" --- Leave me be!
"Do you want to... kiss me?" --- I can't... arughhh...

Fleeting immaculate perfection, beauty I will never know
Youth squandered and gone forever
Gnarled hands will never feel their warmth
A twisted mouth will never touch their lips
Desire shunned and unfulfilled blackens and corrupts

Monstrous thoughts flower in a festering mind

I played the life of game of life, consciously ignoring the unattainable prize
What once was a deviant has now become a monster
I can never be close to them, but I still want them
The only way is to eat them
They will become part of me when I eat them

Summoned northward by the Icy God of Death
Alone, alone, trudging through the Arctic waste
Snowflakes scatter in the wind as the heat seeps from my bones

Snow obscures the crevice in my path
Falling, falling, deep into a glacial tomb
Laying down upon the ice, it's so warm and all is calm

Drifting into dream, I feel his icy touch
Silence, silence, as the wind ceases to howl
All is gradually revealed, there is no more need to breathe

Enshrined forever in the catacombs of ice
Frozen, frozen, guarding secrets from beyond
Knowledge must be kept alive, so now I'm calling you

Summoned northward by the Icy God of Death
Alone, alone, trudging through the Arctic waste
Snowflakes scatter in the wind as the heat seeps from your bones

Blind! We are blinded by White Death
Thirty-six days
The dogs are gone... faithful to the end
Extremities blacken
Surrounded by demons: necrophiliacs, cannibals
An ornithologist's nightmare
We boil their fat for fuel
No longer Naturalists, we are the Damned
The gale subsides
We venture out to check our bearings
Blood! My god, blood pouring from the wounded Earth!
Our descent to Hell is complete

Endlessly adrift, the cold waves languidly slop against the hull
Slowly rocking back and forth, the constant motion
The fog never lifts
We cannot bleed out and we cannot drown
Men lost overboard are eventually found
Without the stars, we can not navigate
The icy grey mists never dissipate
The Sun never rises, and night never falls
We are all starving, but Death never calls
We wander below deck like rats in a cage
Were we once Men, or just creatures of rage?

I think about my actions, and the actions of others upon the world around me
I'm not a very sentimental guy
If I determine a particular behavior to be detrimental or unethical, I just stop doing it
I don't want to hurt animals, so I stopped eating them
Religion just encourages faulty thinking, so I rejected it
War is monstrous, I can't support bloodshed
Guns are only designed to do one thing, murder, and I don't want to kill anybody
All these revelations seem fairly self-evident, but the majority of humanity disagrees
And most of them are full-grown adults!
I'm not a genius by any stretch of the imagination
But I've come to realize that people simply do not think
Sure, they drive around in cars and operates cell phones and machines
But don't be fooled by technology; they do not think
Even the ones capable of ethical thought are unwilling to be inconvenienced by it
They believe in magic, sky gods, and they'll hurt you if you question their delusions
It's overwhelming at times, I'm trapped in a world of barbarians
I daydream about advanced alien civilizations:
Their social structure, their culture... how do they function?
I often wish I could leave this barbaric world to join them
But there's a problem
In an advanced civilization, I would have nothing to offer
I'd essentially be developmentally-disabled in comparison to a superior race
I probably couldn't operate their technology
I couldn't provide intellectual stimulation
I couldn't contribute anything of value
At best, I'd be like a pet to them
So, I'm trapped---
I don't fit in the barbarian world, and I'm too dumb for the advanced space culture

Charles B. stood upon the black pebbles, staring at the dim, violet horizon
"The ferry approaches," said a man
A long, narrow boat glided silently to the shore's edge
The Ferryman extended his left hand
The man produced a silver coin, and was helped into the craft
Again, the Ferryman extended his hand
A woman removed a coin from her mouth, and was admitted aboard
The Ferryman stared expectantly at Charles B., who was rummaging through his pockets
"Um, what's the price again?" he asked
"One Obol, in exchange for passage," said the Ferryman
"I have a gift card I got from my grandma," said Charles
"I think it still has four or five dollars on it."
"One Obol," repeated the Ferryman
Charles found a video arcade token in his otherwise-empty wallet
He reluctantly surrendered this lucky charm from the favorite pizza parlour of his youth
As they sailed in silence, Charles B. kept trying to make eye-contact
With the long-haired woman in black tattered rags who stared vacantly past him into oblivion
"Uh, I like your gothic fashion," said Charles at last. "Do you like vampire movies?"
"I poisoned my husband and two children in a jealous rage," replied the woman
"A scorpion has bored into my chest, and eats my heart every day"
She opened her blouse
At this point, the Ferryman had to repeatedly yell at Charles B. to stop rocking the boat

Why is this Sloth in the Reading Room, languidly sprawled upon the divan?
Why is he wearing spats without shoes?
Why is his bowler hat filled with leaves?
Gentleman Sloth
Who sponsored his membership to the club?
Outrageous, this is outrageous!

Oh, what a night
I still reek of turpentine
A toenail is gone
But I'd do it all a thousand times again for you, girl
Just call me "Commander In Chief"
I'm going to drone-bomb you with my love
High heels, fishnet stockings, you're looking fine
I want to take you to Guantanamo Bay
Don't censor my Manifesto of Love
Don't let the asteroids end all life as we know it
Somewhere there's a Norwegian in a secret room
He knows where you live, he's got your number, he likes your style, girl
I've got a little piece of you lodged in my heart, forensically speaking
I've gotta get you out of my system, stomatically speaking
Who rubbed the burn-cream all over the dog?!
I've got that loving touch that love factories don't want you to know about
Click here to find out why

Once, in the Season of Death
The Platypus dumped me in the frozen wasteland
Said, "Good luck," and winked
Thus it all began
Enthusiastically, I dove right in
Learned the tricks, solved the puzzles
Excelled at everything


Life began to thaw, I pursued my goals
Felt the facade of potential
Actually believed that what I did mattered
Experiencing meaning, purpose, friendship
For one brief instant, life seemed worthwhile

You can't change the world, nor is that the goal
Dispel the myths, destroy tradition, refine, reject, resist
Think for yourself

Retreating from the world, recluse with no name
Unable to maintain friendships, inability to connect
Trapped in the Hell of Life
Illusions have been shattered, hope dissected, joy dismantled
The Sun relentlessly exposes every lie, desiccates every illusion

I will never feel such joy again
Longing for the stars
The cold black void is my only home

All Materials Copyright 1995-2013 Jason Polland.

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